Part of my mission is to help mothers really connect with their maternal instinct and trust the feelings that they get so that they can become more confident and not worry so much about what other people think.

I had a very interesting experience today that put that to the test.

First, let me give you some background to set the scene. When my daughter was a baby and got upset, she was extremely persistent and was not a baby who would cry herself out. She had stamina! If it was a battle of wills, she usually won. When she started preschool, in a beautiful and gentle school, it took me 5 months to get her settled without me having to stay. She now loves it and is thriving. When she had to move up in swimming at age three and swim on her own without me in the pool, the only way we could do it was by me getting in with her and gradually moving to the bench and then further away. Now she loves swimming and is confident. So you get the picture that my little girl doesn't cope too well with change and needs to process it in her own way and time. I would also like to mention that there are certain signs that show she is uncomfortable and is about to get upset. She usually moves her tongue around her mouth in a pronounced way or will put her finger in her mouth. Okay, so here is what happened.

I took my 4 year old to her swimming lesson. Now she had missed two weeks as she had chicken pox and usually it is just her and another little girl in the lesson. She loves swimming and was really looking forward to going back. When I walked her through to the learner pool at first I wondered if I had the right time and day. There was a teacher I didn't recognise and two new girls but no sign of the little girl who usually swims with her. Straight away I wondered how this was going to go down but I went with it and waited to see. Sometimes when people work with children, they overcompensate and are a little too loud and cheery, instead of getting down to the child's level and acknowledging how they may be feeling. As they were about to get in, I noticed my daughter's face and the signs I mentioned and in that moment I knew this was not going to go well. When I started to explain this to the teacher who suggested picking her up and cuddling her into the water. In that moment, I doubted my instinct and let her try but decided to stay close. You guessed it, my daughter started crying. I walked over to get her out only to have the teacher strongly suggest that I give it five minutes and not come over. Against my better judgement I went and sat back on the bench. I watched and kept checking the clock and unsurprisingly no amount of bouncing or trying to get her to blow bubbles and swim made her calm down.

Luckily I had just had a cup of calming tea on the way so I was in a very calm and good space when my maternal instinct took over. I walked over and told the teacher that I needed to pull her out of the pool as I was not prepared to sit through an entire lesson watching my child be that upset. She clearly didn't feel I was making the best choice and after asking me if she had special needs and suggesting that she was behaving that way as she was picking up on me being upset, I gently but assertively told her that I know my child and this lesson was not going to work today.

Because I was calm, Mama Bear wasn't unleashed and I was able to sense and trust my maternal instinct and make the best decision for my child without caring or worrying what the teacher thought.

Have you had a similar experience where you trusted your maternal instinct? Or do you find it difficult to be assertive with other people when it comes to making decisions for your children?

I would love to hear your stories. Click on the link below and send me an email or post on my facebook page.

With love,